Stress

Have you heard this one? “I don’t have stress. I give it.”

What You Might Expect Me To Say About Stress: Aw-w-w, just relax. Or maybe toughen up. Jesus said worry doesn’t help at all.

But That’s Not the Whole Story, Is It? From financial meltdowns we cannot control, to family pains, to work and responsibilities, stress is almost built in. Jesus does razz us about worrying in Matthew 6, but he, too knew responsibilities and tensions with those around him. A good summary of Paul’s writing in the Bible might be “trust God, but work hard”. Not quite as comforting as a good massage, is it?

Here’s Where I Get in Trouble: You can use me to say this to you if you need someone to remind you of what you already know. Two issues boil to the top that don’t get talked about enough in self help books. First is the need to balance our work with our joy. I am the senior staff responsible for three organizations, including this church that I pastor. I have kids, and bills that are oppressive. I live with a brain injury. But most days I am deeply happy. I know people who are even more at peace than me who have even more responsibilities and challenges. How is this possible?

Those who don’t die under stress are those who have developed the capacity to cherish … they look to the successes in their work and remember them out loud; they look to their workmates or families and verbalize and take note of their gifts and kindnesses; they look for good stuff and appreciate it at length, as a habit of the soul. When you stop looking for good, it can be hard to see. When you look, it is everywhere. You know this!

Second, we need rhythms we won’t compromise for anything but the direst conflict. The morning bran … the walk … the church worship … the bedtime kiss or the reading before sleep, you’re not all the same, but we have to keep some rhythms or we fall into a disorder not far from schizophrenia. Watch the stress/depression that accompanies so many who either get into the sleeping-in-with-no-fixed-waking-hour anti-routine or the opposite of no-bed-time and no-time-when-work-has-to-stop. Sure, there is chicken and egg as to cause, but not eating at least some veggies and fruits, and not getting aerobic a couple of times a week, and not being near positive people for conversation and for celebration regularly will leave us ready for the meltdown.

Don’t Lie to Yourself: Life is hard, and sometimes REAL hard. And you have to say no to things before you can say yes to other things. You don’t stretch so far or so well! But some stress is the natural function of living. The question is balance.

And another argument for kind, honorable living is that it reduces the pains of horrid consequences. But if you have failed here, don’t forget, God forgives. Consequences may last, but God’s love overcomes even our worst failures.

[[BUT: major health breakdowns and certain major life losses are not in this same category. These are not just stress. They involve grief and pain and chemical reactions and are worthy of getting counseling and help from friends and family. Dumping on yourself about your ability to manage stress in those times just drains you more. Stay or get close to some people in those times that will help you keep your head above water through the intense times. You will find grace in the most unusual places.]]

Do well.