Depression

Have you heard the one about: An old Vaudeville tale recounts a pair of obnoxious magicians who traveled the circuit. They encountered another performer in a hotel lobby who looked deeply disturbed. One asked “Hey, why do you look so down?” The reply was “I just got word that my mother died” to which the second magician responded “We know how you feel, we just lost our trunk”.

What you might expect me to say about depression: Yes, there are people who have a tougher time than you who still find the ability to be joyful. And yes, faith and a life in church will have a direct positive impact on most of us most of the time in the realm of our emotions. And yes, medication is not the answer for everything. And look at all the beauty and giftedness of our lives! We can look inside and say with the Psalmist “Why are you cast down, my soul? … Hope in God”.

But that’s not the whole story, is it? Your wounded heart matters to God. And to me.

In our emotionally stilted culture, we have few tools to use to deal with the more pained emotions, and few models of getting it right. We panic at the thought of someone being down. ”Cheer up!” becomes a defensive argument, even when it is unrealistic to ask of someone, or of ourselves.

Here are words of counsel I typically give: First, ask yourself, is it actually depression? It’s helpful to consider two distinctions. The first is that some of what we call depression is really sadness. What is the difference? A lot. Sadness has a cause, or a couple of causes that take us over the top (or under the bottom) from our everyday dealing with life’s pains into a hurting state. Sadness has a rhythm that we need to honor.

Sometimes it is grief.

Sometimes it is a call to action.

Always it is a call to commune with the wounds in the heart of our God.

Depression may best be defined as bigger than any one cause. When everything looks bad, that is, to some degree, a sickness of perception. Truthfully, many if not most of the goodnesses that make life what it is are still functioning wonderfully. When we can’t see or feel any good at all, and when all our life perspective is down, that is depression. And as that definition suggests, there is likely not a single answer, either.

A second useful question is about anger and injustice. Is there something or someone that is actively wounding us in a way which does not leave us free to respond openly? Rollo May once said that the most destructive human emotion is powerlessness. Depression can be a mask of anger when it is turned inward instead of outward toward our actual problem, or a close mimic of depression may hint that we are in a situation of powerlessness or oppression. Then the answer is probably not in any therapy, medication, or meditation, but in action or getting help, or at least recognizing the true cause being outside of the emotional tracts.

Now, if we actually discover ourselves to be depressed, what can we do? This could be a book, and it is not, so I will be as brief as I can. First, we do well to assess how deep it is. Can I do the things listed below? If not, I may well need help from family, pastor, counselors, and/or physicians or even a crisis hotline. The healthiest people over the long run are always those who can admit their need for others and their inability to do everything for themselves.

Then we can (by ourselves or with others’ help) double check that the basics structures of healthy living are in place. Are we eating veggies and fruits, and getting our proteins, minerals, and micro-nutrients? Are we walking or exercising consistently? Are we seeing the sun (or the vague reflection of it off the clouds in our rain forest setting)? Are we keeping our rhythms of spiritual community life every seven days? Are we calling relatives and checking in with friends? Are we regular??? Like in solving problems in high quality sports, often the best returns come from going back to the fundamentals.

Is medication a good idea? The Bible has many examples of medication used for God’s purposes, and wise use of all of God’s gifts is essential when we desire healing. But of course, there are limits on what medication can do. And for those without lifelong chemical imbalances, it is always good to treat medical interventions as catalysts and short term assists. And yes, there are diets, and possibly supplements that can provide some of what western medicines do, but this does not discount medication’s usefulness in the depths of times of need.

Now I Get Myself In Trouble: What is NOT useful when we are depressed is dumping on ourselves for our deficiencies or failures. When dealing with questions of mental health, the United Methodist Book of Resolutions uses the phrase “exaggerated self-negation …” While we all need God’s forgiveness, we must not fall into cycles of guilt and self abuse and pretend that is God’s will for our lives. Maybe when we are depressed we are least likely to be able to assess our faithfulness to the Spirit’s call in our lives.

When others around us feel depressed there are a whole lot of issues that are raised I won’t start with here, but I hope you seek help when others around you are struggling! I have a particular concern for parents seeing their children go through depression with all its risks and for those undergoing economic and medical crises.

My favorite Sufi poet Hafiz is quoted as saying “I know the voice of depression still calls to you.” But soon after, saying “But you are with the Friend now. And you look so much stronger”.

Don’t Lie to Yourself: Not all depression needs to be “cured”. Some depressions simply last for a lifetime. I have found that allowing myself some brief time not fighting depression gives me permission to pray differently, like the writer of Psalm 42 and 43. But at some point, I take depression as a call to look again. After all, it is a sickness of perception. So I look at the sacred people of life. I have never met someone who is not in most deep ways beautiful. Looking. Seeing beauty.

As Hafiz says,

“Keep squeezing drops of the Sun
From your prayers and work and music
And from your companions’ beautiful laughter.

Keep squeezing drops of the Sun
From the sacred hands and glance of your Beloved
And, my dear,
From the most insignificant movements
Of your own holy body.

Learn to recognize the counterfeit coins
That may buy you just a moment of pleasure,
But then drag you for days
Like a broken man
Behind a farting camel.
You are with the Friend now.
Learn what actions of yours delight Him,
What actions of yours bring freedom
And Love.

Whenever you say God’s name, dear pilgrim,
My ears wish my head was missing
So they could finally kiss each other
And applaud all your nourishing wisdom!”

For those of you with longer term depression, it is an honor to share life with you even when you struggle. Thank you for opening up to all of those you can open up to. You are beautiful in God’s eyes. And mine. And so many others. Keep squeezing drops of the Sun.

Let a friend know that this blog is here.

Grace and joyful healings to you.

If you have interest in Hafiz, I got those lines from I Heard God Laughing Renderings of Hafiz by Daniel Ladinsky.