Many of you have noted that I have repeatedly said lately, "To turn away from spotting goodness and celebrating - it is the beginning of psychic devastation."I'm serious; I believe that suicidal thinking is rooted in this very act: not intentionally noticing and appreciating the gifts in our lives.
So, I wanted to wait until after the Thanksgiving holiday to note my appreciation for all of you in my life. I don't just celebrate you on holidays. I love the life I have been given, and all of you who share it with me. I am often embarrassed that I have lived this richly in terms of friends, adventures, strengths, and opportunities to do some good in the world.
It seems like I have lived many lifetimes. It is hard to believe all these friends, adventures, strengths, and opportunities can be compacted into one life.
Oh, God, thanks you! And to all of you, thanks a million fold!
May you spend time, real time, today and in the next few days and weeks intentionally noticing all the gifts, friends, stories, strengths, and opportunities to do good that enrich you. May you dance your soul out, and laugh and listen to music. May you care with passion, work with price, and pray with ecstasy and depth.
God looks good in you, as does life itself.
Thanks,
Do well.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
ONE OF THE LEAST POPULAR IDEAS IN AMERICA
We are a nation with two recently “discovered” problems: First, we don’t like to pay for what we get when we get it, preferring to rely on credit (or fantasy). Second, we optimists tend to ignore the struggles of others, which has led to a bizarre abstraction of lack of interest in the public over our current wars! These two issues as a matrix have revealed a profound imbalance in our lives.
You will probably not be surprised that I am about to argue for an unpopular new idea that has surfaced in the White House, supported by a minority of both parties. Let me share the context first, since many will hate the proposal while missing the brilliance within it.
At the same time the war in Afghanistan began, we heard from our politicians that after the economic stoppage of 9/11, we would be doing our nation a favor if we went shopping and to entertainment and investing again. Economically, this makes sense. But we were sending people to risk their lives, and many to lose them. Not to condemn the politicians for their realistic appeals, but we were being encouraged to ignore the pain and fear and consequence in the commitment. Sound familiar?
Now some scholars on both sides of the aisle suggest we pay for an increase in troops with a tax. We, of course, will be suffocated by politicians and media criticizing the nature and math of the tax, without realizing how wise it is that there be some kind of payment that we will all participate in.
I never want my country to send people to risk their lives without in some way sharing the cost. Yes, I can donate to the United Methodist Chaplain services, and can send items to the soldiers. But in the World Wars, there were far more impacting demands put on the civilians back home that not only helped the soldiers, they spread the cost to every civilian.
I doubt the tax will pass through our phalanx of divisive, self-serving politics. But it is worth contemplating. How much do we want to be the United states? How much will we do together? What would we be willing to do to work as a union for each other’s safety and well being? More than just sending someone else and forgetting about it?
You will probably not be surprised that I am about to argue for an unpopular new idea that has surfaced in the White House, supported by a minority of both parties. Let me share the context first, since many will hate the proposal while missing the brilliance within it.
At the same time the war in Afghanistan began, we heard from our politicians that after the economic stoppage of 9/11, we would be doing our nation a favor if we went shopping and to entertainment and investing again. Economically, this makes sense. But we were sending people to risk their lives, and many to lose them. Not to condemn the politicians for their realistic appeals, but we were being encouraged to ignore the pain and fear and consequence in the commitment. Sound familiar?
Now some scholars on both sides of the aisle suggest we pay for an increase in troops with a tax. We, of course, will be suffocated by politicians and media criticizing the nature and math of the tax, without realizing how wise it is that there be some kind of payment that we will all participate in.
I never want my country to send people to risk their lives without in some way sharing the cost. Yes, I can donate to the United Methodist Chaplain services, and can send items to the soldiers. But in the World Wars, there were far more impacting demands put on the civilians back home that not only helped the soldiers, they spread the cost to every civilian.
I doubt the tax will pass through our phalanx of divisive, self-serving politics. But it is worth contemplating. How much do we want to be the United states? How much will we do together? What would we be willing to do to work as a union for each other’s safety and well being? More than just sending someone else and forgetting about it?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
ANOTHER WOMAN THING --
It broke my heart today to see the second turn in the anti-woman part of the health care debate. A few weeks ago I heard a representative had objected to reproductive health care in a Health Reform bill, saying that as a man he had no need of that. The official he said that to said something to the order of “Well your mother did”.
Now I hear that there is a concerted effort to make sure no health reform money goes for women’s access to abortion and birth control services. Hmmm … so a woman will have to go to the back alley? That is a reform??? Is that what they are calling pro-life? Won’t that cost much more in the long run?
The problem isn’t just an anti-abortion consideration. It is that the whole definition of a sex, in this case the female sex, is about reproduction issues! To define those out from a health bill is to do something very, very disturbing.
In this blog on March 12, 2009 I gave some information that has been helpful to many of you about the subject of abortion. I’d love you to go there if you haven’t. But this is about more than that. It smacks of the 1920s debate about whether women should be educated about birth control options (which were few then). It smacks of misogyny.
I wrote my congressman and senators today. Maybe you will, too.
For good insight into this crazy turn of events, you can go to rcrc.org for conversation about the issues from a faith perspective. Of course there is good stuff at ppfa.org as well.
Why does history ever wax toward oppression of women? I know that seems like a silly question after all the material we have from the feminist perspective, but it still bugs me and it hurts all of us.
Paul quoted what was apparently a central hymn in the early church in Galatians 3:28 saying that we are no longer viewed as Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for we “are all one in Christ Jesus”. The issue of women’s full place in church leadership was one of the main reasons the early church had its pivotal debate about what amount of Jewish law Christians would have to follow, recounted in Acts chapter 15. That debate is what freed us to come to church even if we don’t eat kosher, aren’t circumcised, or haven’t offered sacrifice at the Temple. The church lost its way on women’s issues for generations. We can’t lose our way again.
Hey, guys, we need to make some noise here. And women, God hears you. I hope congress will, too.
Do Well
Now I hear that there is a concerted effort to make sure no health reform money goes for women’s access to abortion and birth control services. Hmmm … so a woman will have to go to the back alley? That is a reform??? Is that what they are calling pro-life? Won’t that cost much more in the long run?
The problem isn’t just an anti-abortion consideration. It is that the whole definition of a sex, in this case the female sex, is about reproduction issues! To define those out from a health bill is to do something very, very disturbing.
In this blog on March 12, 2009 I gave some information that has been helpful to many of you about the subject of abortion. I’d love you to go there if you haven’t. But this is about more than that. It smacks of the 1920s debate about whether women should be educated about birth control options (which were few then). It smacks of misogyny.
I wrote my congressman and senators today. Maybe you will, too.
For good insight into this crazy turn of events, you can go to rcrc.org for conversation about the issues from a faith perspective. Of course there is good stuff at ppfa.org as well.
Why does history ever wax toward oppression of women? I know that seems like a silly question after all the material we have from the feminist perspective, but it still bugs me and it hurts all of us.
Paul quoted what was apparently a central hymn in the early church in Galatians 3:28 saying that we are no longer viewed as Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for we “are all one in Christ Jesus”. The issue of women’s full place in church leadership was one of the main reasons the early church had its pivotal debate about what amount of Jewish law Christians would have to follow, recounted in Acts chapter 15. That debate is what freed us to come to church even if we don’t eat kosher, aren’t circumcised, or haven’t offered sacrifice at the Temple. The church lost its way on women’s issues for generations. We can’t lose our way again.
Hey, guys, we need to make some noise here. And women, God hears you. I hope congress will, too.
Do Well
Thursday, October 22, 2009
EVOLUTION
Maybe the biggest trouble for the fearful side of the Christian family is the topic of evolution. Those of you who have started the Awed Life curriculum have already read some material on this. Here are some thoughts that might help.
No, evolution is not covered in the Bible text. On the other hand, neither is any scientific field. Why would they be? The Bible is not offering us scientific data, but a life with God! Wouldn’t it be a bit off the subject if suddenly the Bible gave us the Table of Elements or the Laws of Thermodynamics?
The difficulty for the fear-based Christian communities might be most related to a misreading of Genesis 1 and 2. Genesis 1 is a powerful theological argument that the creation is not scattered debris of a war between gods, as was the claim in the common myth of the Middle East in which Genesis was brought forth, called the Eneuma Elish. Genesis contends that the creation is one of extravagant kindness from a single lover that we can respond to without fear that other gods will be jealous and demand similar appreciation. But, fatefully, Genesis uses the scheme of the Eneuma Elish (seven cycles of creation) to tell its story.
The passage uses seven “days.” These are clearly used to argue for an orderly and intentional process, and a complete one, using the sane number seven of the Eneuma Elish, but with a different significance, since the Hebrews used the number seven to express complete and perfect. But did the Bible’s original authors and readers intend these days to be taken as 24-hour periods? In the passage, three of the days are before the creation of the sun, so there would have been no “day” possible in any technical sense at all!
Moreover, the Bible contains other creation stories that have different orders of what gets created, and none of these other passages uses days for a structure of the creation story at all. Examples can be found in Psalm 104, or Proverbs 8:22-31 [about the place of wisdom in the creation story]. In Jewish and historical Protestant and Catholic and Christian Orthodox churches’ intellectual communities, a sizeable majority of biblical scholars do not believe that the Bible teaches anything like a 6-day creation story. Why?
Not only for the reasons listed above, but for the persuasiveness of the emphatic Biblical argument that the creation speaks of the truth and glory of God! The Bible regularly asserts that the creation speaks the truth of Godl. I just looked up ten Psalms that have the point of view that the heavens and the earth speak God’s truth. The point is also made over and over in other books of scripture. When a scientist looks closely at a cell, a supernova, or a fossil, the creation speaks God’s truth.
This is not a point without nuance, since death is everywhere in the creation; God, from Genesis to Revelation is not a fan of death, and it too is a part of the world. But understanding that the creation is wounded, and therefore doesn’t speak with all the clarity we could long for does not negate is voice. The creation sings God’s truth. So evidence for the age of the universe in the stars or of the age of the earth in geology, or of the age and development of the species in anthropology and archaeology are the stuff of faith as well as the Word and reason and church.It is a crime that many people of faith keep their kids from learning science and “dumb down” the people whose faith could provide the most healing and positive influences in the scientific community!
Do not be afraid. The creation sings. So do you. Use you mind and your heart to listen and study the world God has given us.
No, evolution is not covered in the Bible text. On the other hand, neither is any scientific field. Why would they be? The Bible is not offering us scientific data, but a life with God! Wouldn’t it be a bit off the subject if suddenly the Bible gave us the Table of Elements or the Laws of Thermodynamics?
The difficulty for the fear-based Christian communities might be most related to a misreading of Genesis 1 and 2. Genesis 1 is a powerful theological argument that the creation is not scattered debris of a war between gods, as was the claim in the common myth of the Middle East in which Genesis was brought forth, called the Eneuma Elish. Genesis contends that the creation is one of extravagant kindness from a single lover that we can respond to without fear that other gods will be jealous and demand similar appreciation. But, fatefully, Genesis uses the scheme of the Eneuma Elish (seven cycles of creation) to tell its story.
The passage uses seven “days.” These are clearly used to argue for an orderly and intentional process, and a complete one, using the sane number seven of the Eneuma Elish, but with a different significance, since the Hebrews used the number seven to express complete and perfect. But did the Bible’s original authors and readers intend these days to be taken as 24-hour periods? In the passage, three of the days are before the creation of the sun, so there would have been no “day” possible in any technical sense at all!
Moreover, the Bible contains other creation stories that have different orders of what gets created, and none of these other passages uses days for a structure of the creation story at all. Examples can be found in Psalm 104, or Proverbs 8:22-31 [about the place of wisdom in the creation story]. In Jewish and historical Protestant and Catholic and Christian Orthodox churches’ intellectual communities, a sizeable majority of biblical scholars do not believe that the Bible teaches anything like a 6-day creation story. Why?
Not only for the reasons listed above, but for the persuasiveness of the emphatic Biblical argument that the creation speaks of the truth and glory of God! The Bible regularly asserts that the creation speaks the truth of Godl. I just looked up ten Psalms that have the point of view that the heavens and the earth speak God’s truth. The point is also made over and over in other books of scripture. When a scientist looks closely at a cell, a supernova, or a fossil, the creation speaks God’s truth.
This is not a point without nuance, since death is everywhere in the creation; God, from Genesis to Revelation is not a fan of death, and it too is a part of the world. But understanding that the creation is wounded, and therefore doesn’t speak with all the clarity we could long for does not negate is voice. The creation sings God’s truth. So evidence for the age of the universe in the stars or of the age of the earth in geology, or of the age and development of the species in anthropology and archaeology are the stuff of faith as well as the Word and reason and church.It is a crime that many people of faith keep their kids from learning science and “dumb down” the people whose faith could provide the most healing and positive influences in the scientific community!
Do not be afraid. The creation sings. So do you. Use you mind and your heart to listen and study the world God has given us.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
WHAT IF YOU STUMBLE?
What if You Stumble?
When we started the Church of the Joyful Healer, we sang a song two or three times called “What If I Stumble?” Its central question was “will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl, what if I stumble, what if I fall?”
About five years ago, a close friend of mine did something real stupid and it got in the papers where he lives. Oh, and it was ugly and scandalous. His church family abandoned him and left him isolated and humiliated. I am still angry … not over my friend’s stupid actions, but about a church of Jesus the Healer leaving a wounded one out in the cold.
I appreciate that in United Methodism, there are teams for dealing with a pastor who fails to keep his or her integrity. When someone fails themselves terribly, often that means many are hurt and wounded along with them. They are responsible for much pain. There are always consequences. You know this. When you fail people they hurt. We all do this and we all grieve when we cause others pain and heartbreak.
BUT we are in the business of healing. Our United Methodist Church family has a commitment to be about resolution and restitution. We have the agenda of reconciling and redeeming. We will have times as a local expression of these values when we will feel conflicted and horrified at the behavior of one of our church friends just like we will over our other friends, coworkers, and family.
As much as we can understand the question of responsibility and consequences, we will also be the people on the cusp of the question of redemption. That is our responsibility. We are about a daunting, and sometimes agonizing task: not just to empower the ready, but to welcome the wounded, to heal the broken, and to restore the damaged. Some days that will be you.
May we be as kind to others in their failings as we will want to be to each other in our missteps. I say this today in the luxury of the hypothetical. But today, remember who you are, so that tomorrow, you will be ready to do your work and your call. Christ heals. Sometimes, Christ heals through us.
Do well.
When we started the Church of the Joyful Healer, we sang a song two or three times called “What If I Stumble?” Its central question was “will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl, what if I stumble, what if I fall?”
About five years ago, a close friend of mine did something real stupid and it got in the papers where he lives. Oh, and it was ugly and scandalous. His church family abandoned him and left him isolated and humiliated. I am still angry … not over my friend’s stupid actions, but about a church of Jesus the Healer leaving a wounded one out in the cold.
I appreciate that in United Methodism, there are teams for dealing with a pastor who fails to keep his or her integrity. When someone fails themselves terribly, often that means many are hurt and wounded along with them. They are responsible for much pain. There are always consequences. You know this. When you fail people they hurt. We all do this and we all grieve when we cause others pain and heartbreak.
BUT we are in the business of healing. Our United Methodist Church family has a commitment to be about resolution and restitution. We have the agenda of reconciling and redeeming. We will have times as a local expression of these values when we will feel conflicted and horrified at the behavior of one of our church friends just like we will over our other friends, coworkers, and family.
As much as we can understand the question of responsibility and consequences, we will also be the people on the cusp of the question of redemption. That is our responsibility. We are about a daunting, and sometimes agonizing task: not just to empower the ready, but to welcome the wounded, to heal the broken, and to restore the damaged. Some days that will be you.
May we be as kind to others in their failings as we will want to be to each other in our missteps. I say this today in the luxury of the hypothetical. But today, remember who you are, so that tomorrow, you will be ready to do your work and your call. Christ heals. Sometimes, Christ heals through us.
Do well.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
MARIJUANA
Living in Humboldt County, USA is a constant reminder of the issues around marijuana use, and the industry behind it. Several of my friends are users, and some of them for no medical reason whatsoever. I know a few who grow and some who sell. And I am a pastor in a United Methodist Church, usually not the best connected to the marijuana community!
There are many questions related to its use that spiritual people are right to ponder:
First, there is a near-universal tendency of the human family to find pharmacological substances in nature and to use them with sometimes wisdom, and sometimes excess. Virtually every ancient culture has discovered and used substances in their environment to alter feelings of emotion, pain, and lethargy. From these we get most of our modern drug therapies and, of course, also the drug problems. This ranges from aspirin and caffeine to coca and opium.
Second, in the Jewish tradition there is a place for an occasional light buzz from alcohol as a tool of celebration, as you can see in my earlier blog on drinking. This can be easily transferred over to marijuana use, or other rather benign substances.
Third, excess in the Jewish Bible is condemned as damaging to life and to others. My big concern for non-medical marijuana use is around this topic. How often have you heard a frequent user brag on the non-addictive properties of marijuana? This is hard to hear from someone using it three times a day, or even three times a week. Deep breathing and exercise and play and reading and so many other things alter us for good without the downsides of drug use, and without requiring drug use. It is hard to admit when we have let ourselves slip into a dependency, and pot is a great one to suck us in.
On the legality issues, I always favor public acknowledgement and public tracking. With cigarettes legal, we can track the trade, tax it, watch for labor and producer abuse, and even use its income to seek to limit its use. With current marijuana law, none of that can happen. Many times you hear pot users compare its use to alcohol favorably. I understand, but those involved in alcohol production can be held to account and contribute to the public good whether they want to or not, and that is a fully appropriate societal demand. Anti marijuana laws have done much harm to individuals, and have produced very little benefit.
As to medical use, pot has some real benefit to those who have digestion problems and need palliative medical care. This seems to be an obvious place for support from the spiritual community at large.
Am I pot user? Nope. Have I ever inhaled? Yes, the last time was 34 years ago. Why not now? I love being alive, in touch with my ups and downs, and I don’t need help except from friendships, family, nature, and physical and mental work.
Do I have any … ANY interest in condemning others for pot use? Not a puff. Oh, forgive me for that. But do I hope my friends can do without, or use it very rarely, or use it in a nation with more sensible legal structures? Yes, and I’m not just puffing smoke.
(Oooh, am I going to get it for the puns)
Do well---
There are many questions related to its use that spiritual people are right to ponder:
First, there is a near-universal tendency of the human family to find pharmacological substances in nature and to use them with sometimes wisdom, and sometimes excess. Virtually every ancient culture has discovered and used substances in their environment to alter feelings of emotion, pain, and lethargy. From these we get most of our modern drug therapies and, of course, also the drug problems. This ranges from aspirin and caffeine to coca and opium.
Second, in the Jewish tradition there is a place for an occasional light buzz from alcohol as a tool of celebration, as you can see in my earlier blog on drinking. This can be easily transferred over to marijuana use, or other rather benign substances.
Third, excess in the Jewish Bible is condemned as damaging to life and to others. My big concern for non-medical marijuana use is around this topic. How often have you heard a frequent user brag on the non-addictive properties of marijuana? This is hard to hear from someone using it three times a day, or even three times a week. Deep breathing and exercise and play and reading and so many other things alter us for good without the downsides of drug use, and without requiring drug use. It is hard to admit when we have let ourselves slip into a dependency, and pot is a great one to suck us in.
On the legality issues, I always favor public acknowledgement and public tracking. With cigarettes legal, we can track the trade, tax it, watch for labor and producer abuse, and even use its income to seek to limit its use. With current marijuana law, none of that can happen. Many times you hear pot users compare its use to alcohol favorably. I understand, but those involved in alcohol production can be held to account and contribute to the public good whether they want to or not, and that is a fully appropriate societal demand. Anti marijuana laws have done much harm to individuals, and have produced very little benefit.
As to medical use, pot has some real benefit to those who have digestion problems and need palliative medical care. This seems to be an obvious place for support from the spiritual community at large.
Am I pot user? Nope. Have I ever inhaled? Yes, the last time was 34 years ago. Why not now? I love being alive, in touch with my ups and downs, and I don’t need help except from friendships, family, nature, and physical and mental work.
Do I have any … ANY interest in condemning others for pot use? Not a puff. Oh, forgive me for that. But do I hope my friends can do without, or use it very rarely, or use it in a nation with more sensible legal structures? Yes, and I’m not just puffing smoke.
(Oooh, am I going to get it for the puns)
Do well---
Monday, August 31, 2009
SHIFT
Watching the wallflower is always painful, even if it is we ourselves. I recently watched a kid refuse to jump into a rambunctious game with friends for obvious fear. Then the friends wound up laughing their guts out and I saw the child who had opted out visibly grieve missing out on the joy.
We have all seen fanatics [remember the definition: someone who redoubles their effort after having forgotten their aim] in faith, and none of us wants to be associated with those people. But we have all also seen the awkward one incapable of jumping all the way in to the deep water, or into the dance, or the sport, you name it, and their over conservative approach keeps them from living fully in the moment.
There is no time like now to shift to a new level of faith living. No time like today to begin the real investment in looking for God in everything and everyone, in prayer, in church, in doing good. Changing gears always means some transition, and with new speeds come new risks, but life with no risks is not life, and faith calls us into a life of risk.
Please make a true Methodist pledge with me, too, on a related item: if you see someone going all out for their job, cause, faith, politics, you name it, please commit yourself to bless them for trying, for risking, for craving to be all in, even if it is not your cause, or perspective, or “thing”. Blessing fanaticism? No, not really--just cherishing that even the fanatic is trying to live out a call to passionate living. That doesn’t mean supporting their cause at all. [I bet you, like me, have even helped a few fanatics get into treatment or get arrested!]. A prayer like ….
“God, I see their desire for you and for living fully the life you gave to them. Help them, like me, aim better, and higher, but thank you for calling them, and me, to live truly alive. Lead me to the same passion for the best of your kingdom”.
Do well.
We have all seen fanatics [remember the definition: someone who redoubles their effort after having forgotten their aim] in faith, and none of us wants to be associated with those people. But we have all also seen the awkward one incapable of jumping all the way in to the deep water, or into the dance, or the sport, you name it, and their over conservative approach keeps them from living fully in the moment.
There is no time like now to shift to a new level of faith living. No time like today to begin the real investment in looking for God in everything and everyone, in prayer, in church, in doing good. Changing gears always means some transition, and with new speeds come new risks, but life with no risks is not life, and faith calls us into a life of risk.
Please make a true Methodist pledge with me, too, on a related item: if you see someone going all out for their job, cause, faith, politics, you name it, please commit yourself to bless them for trying, for risking, for craving to be all in, even if it is not your cause, or perspective, or “thing”. Blessing fanaticism? No, not really--just cherishing that even the fanatic is trying to live out a call to passionate living. That doesn’t mean supporting their cause at all. [I bet you, like me, have even helped a few fanatics get into treatment or get arrested!]. A prayer like ….
“God, I see their desire for you and for living fully the life you gave to them. Help them, like me, aim better, and higher, but thank you for calling them, and me, to live truly alive. Lead me to the same passion for the best of your kingdom”.
Do well.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
HABITS
Habits are more than just our junk food or 12 step-worthy problems; they keep us alive. From eating regularly to brushing our teeth, from calling family each month or birthday, to shopping weekly, basic, committed rhythms are what keep us from meltdowns into unstructured and disordered living.
We all know most of our bad habits by name (although our spending habits are curiously often hidden from ourselves … hmmm).
My first question is Do you know your good habits by name? If you feel like it, would you type a list of your good habits? If you’d like, click comments at the bottom of this blog and we can compare notes, or keep them to yourself. See if you can name 20 habits, and yes, you can use the suggestions in the first paragraph. Many of my readers have begun to keep a Sabbath every week, including recreation, church gatherings, and rest. Don’t forget to put that on your list if you are locking that one down.
Second, do you know how you created those habits? When? Did you do it on purpose? Were others involved in helping you shape a habit or two?
Third, which new or renewed habit would improve your journey now? Which new habit is most realistic to begin building into a routine now? What would it take to lock this in as successfully as you did others in your past?
Last, is there a habit that is destructive that you are ready to be done with? Instead of getting all pumped up to “finish it off” like we get pumped up to take on a new diet, with all the usual two weeks that it takes to lose the whole effort, is there a gentle, simple way of peace you can begin that would help you end it?
In the name of full disclosure, here is a list of 20 of my habits, and it is really hard to get to 20 without dipping into more embarrassing material!
Reading before sleep
Reading in the tub
Reading the Bible in the morning
Reading in the bathroom (yes, it is a habit!)
Reading a news magazine before Sunday morning
Reading a Daily paper at breakfast
Reading the daily news on the computer (usually in the later afternoon)
Checking my favorite team scores at night (in baseball and football seasons)
Working out each day (usually in the late afternoon)
Hugging my family members before bed
Praying when I wake
Praying when I hear a siren
Praying at meals
Listening to the morning news on NPR (Picking only one item to pray about from the news. It is a rule I keep to not be overwhelmed.)
Doing the bills on Saturday
Family meals for dinner (my four family members are all together for this only about four times a week!)
Worship every week
Brushing and flossing
Bathing
Shaving
Have fun with this, but I hope it kicks off a renewal of commitment and an appreciation for wisdom you have received into yourself already. “For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self discipline” II Timothy 1:7.
Do well.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
PIOUS ANYONE?
One word I struggled to understand growing up was pious. It was used as a criticism but could also mean focused on God and spirituality. Now I get it.
When spirituality is used as another way of being self obsessed in a consumer culture, it is one of the ugliest things in the world. Whether it is used this way in the language of fundamentalism, where the world’s only issue is the salvation of my individual soul and maybe that same concern for others, or in more New Agey “the only thing that matters is my sense of personal space and peace”, a spirituality that doesn’t embrace activism and work and community service is just another name for narcissism.
I want so badly for you and me to be alive in the love of God. I want you to be full and free. But I know that will always be a chimera if it is not deeply connected to your giving yourself and your gifts to the world God loves. Let’s build homes for the destitute, feed some hungry people, and get involved in politics and healing projects. Let’s give gifts of craft and love for kids, let’s support people’s health efforts, let’s get people (and ourselves sometimes) into support groups. Let’s pool our money for these and other projects from here to Darfur.
This will be a part of your prayers and your Bible reading, or really Bible living. These will balance and compliment, but also be the very foundation of a love for God and a spiritual life. Let’s do it together and not ignore the social and communal aspects of life in God’s love and spirit.
Do well.
When spirituality is used as another way of being self obsessed in a consumer culture, it is one of the ugliest things in the world. Whether it is used this way in the language of fundamentalism, where the world’s only issue is the salvation of my individual soul and maybe that same concern for others, or in more New Agey “the only thing that matters is my sense of personal space and peace”, a spirituality that doesn’t embrace activism and work and community service is just another name for narcissism.
I want so badly for you and me to be alive in the love of God. I want you to be full and free. But I know that will always be a chimera if it is not deeply connected to your giving yourself and your gifts to the world God loves. Let’s build homes for the destitute, feed some hungry people, and get involved in politics and healing projects. Let’s give gifts of craft and love for kids, let’s support people’s health efforts, let’s get people (and ourselves sometimes) into support groups. Let’s pool our money for these and other projects from here to Darfur.
This will be a part of your prayers and your Bible reading, or really Bible living. These will balance and compliment, but also be the very foundation of a love for God and a spiritual life. Let’s do it together and not ignore the social and communal aspects of life in God’s love and spirit.
Do well.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Re-releasing Christianity 101
When Martin Luther challenged the Catholic Church 500 years back, the hierarchy argued that it had a fixed corpus of data from the early church that justified its interpretations. Luther’s argument became, essentially, that God always does a NEW thing, and the Scriptures themselves call for new openness and new questions for faith. In effect, Luther said
‘Who wants to build a faith on a frozen corpus?
Newness and openness to questions of a new era will constantly change the way we view the words of the Bible’.
All the early, or “mainline” Protestant churches lived Luther’s slogan “semper reformanda” … the church is “always reforming”. So we revisit issues as the Spirit calls, whether of women clergy, or married clergy, or birth control, or the validity of other faiths, and therefore big releases of spiritual energy and wisdom occur.
Now we live in a time of deep historical ignorance. The new “Protestant” evangelical and fundamentalists portray their job as identifying the frozen corpus of Christian Biblical interpretation!! In these churches, for example, women pastors are not allowed, birth control is suspect and abortion is absolutely condemned, and churches attack each other for their beliefs. Sex for pastors will probably head for the chopping block within a century (although that might cause people to reconsider this whole trajectory!).
Now mainline Protestant churches are struggling with new understandings of homosexuality, how to view other religions, and healthy responses to politics of oppression and violence, as well as environmental destruction. Evangelical and fundamentalist preachers attack mainline churches, frantically assail gays and lesbians, condemn followers of other faiths to hell, and seek to force their ideas on governments from the USA to Uganda.
What do you think? I think you can tell where I come out. I am a very happy United Methodist mainline Protestant, trusting God always to surprise us and to give us new insight into how to love and receive and bless everyone we meet. Church history waxes and wanes from healthier to unhealthier to healthier understandings. As to the way to live out Protestant faith, I see the mainline Protestant Christian understanding as hope for the world. I see the other as the way backwards to faiths that war and destroy.
‘Who wants to build a faith on a frozen corpus?
Newness and openness to questions of a new era will constantly change the way we view the words of the Bible’.
All the early, or “mainline” Protestant churches lived Luther’s slogan “semper reformanda” … the church is “always reforming”. So we revisit issues as the Spirit calls, whether of women clergy, or married clergy, or birth control, or the validity of other faiths, and therefore big releases of spiritual energy and wisdom occur.
Now we live in a time of deep historical ignorance. The new “Protestant” evangelical and fundamentalists portray their job as identifying the frozen corpus of Christian Biblical interpretation!! In these churches, for example, women pastors are not allowed, birth control is suspect and abortion is absolutely condemned, and churches attack each other for their beliefs. Sex for pastors will probably head for the chopping block within a century (although that might cause people to reconsider this whole trajectory!).
Now mainline Protestant churches are struggling with new understandings of homosexuality, how to view other religions, and healthy responses to politics of oppression and violence, as well as environmental destruction. Evangelical and fundamentalist preachers attack mainline churches, frantically assail gays and lesbians, condemn followers of other faiths to hell, and seek to force their ideas on governments from the USA to Uganda.
What do you think? I think you can tell where I come out. I am a very happy United Methodist mainline Protestant, trusting God always to surprise us and to give us new insight into how to love and receive and bless everyone we meet. Church history waxes and wanes from healthier to unhealthier to healthier understandings. As to the way to live out Protestant faith, I see the mainline Protestant Christian understanding as hope for the world. I see the other as the way backwards to faiths that war and destroy.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
WHEN THEY DON'T LIKE YOU
Rejection is devastating. From kids being bullied or isolated in school to partners being shattered by separation or divorce, it all hurts. Selection for hostility by workmates or “friends” can empty us. And yet at least every parent is scheduled to experience rejection, at best the leaving home for college, at worst what we often see in adolescence, though we’ve all seen kids who have grown hostile even sooner than their teens. [Of course, not every teen rebels in stereotypically ugly fashion].
Pastors know all kinds of rejection, from church visitors not “getting it”, to people meeting us socially and attacking us for faith itself, to people who have begun the walk of faith drifting away, to people “church hopping” off to greener church pastures. Oh, and some people just don’t like me! But when my children hit the point in their lives when I was not their greatest joy, or when they could only remember my restrictions and not my permissions, it hurt more than any other.
From parents I have talked to, the biggest problem in rejection from their kids seems to be in the surprise and disorientation, yet we all know it’s coming! It would be so cool if it was begun on a certain date, scheduled ahead of time. Maybe this is a serious clue: Our modern romanticized view of life includes the idea that everyone should like us all the time. Jesus promised that wouldn’t be true!!
I summarize my philosophy for parenting my younger kids as giving then an enormous yard for experimentation but with cliffs at the edges. What I mean is I let them grow without much criticism if they stayed within the bounds or appropriate social behavior (some of you would say I define that a bit loosely!). But I was very severe for crossing those lines.
On the other hand, as a youth ages, our control of the consequences goes down … the cliffs can appear as gentle inclines. But life has consequences. So then I become interpreter for life itself when my kids can’t see why they get bit by the snakes in the grass. This is no more fun than being the bringer of the consequences themselves. Sometimes the messenger gets blamed!
The most important thing I know about rejection is that when it is happening for anyone, in any situation, we have to go somewhere healthy to make up for the missing doses of affirmation. The neglected lover doesn’t do well starting an affair, but can do really well joining a group like a Men or Women’s breakfast or a book club. The child needs a club or hobby group or activity where they are not the reject in the group. The parent needs (ideally) to rediscover their partner, but at least the developing of the same networks of love and pleasure that an adult without a child would have. This is maybe a reason we have such great adult attendance in karate class from parents of teens!
And deeper, we must find the voice of God in our souls. From the Bible, from prayer, from the creation,from other spiritual reading and most of all from church, we must hear again the voices of love when others don’t play their part in conveying God’s joy to us.
Take care.”You will be despised and rejected” at times. Gather in the love God sends from other sources. Do not let yourelf remain loveless. Actively seek out where God is intending to send you grace.And give. It is a uniquely spectacular source of affirmation.
If it is your kid rejecting you, don’t blame them for that. They will make enough additional mistakes. (Parents caught in custody blame fights, there are different issues. Talk to me or a counselor on that, will ya?).
Oh, and listen to the truth often: You are loved. Enormously. By a God who sings and dances your name in the heavens.
Do well.
Pastors know all kinds of rejection, from church visitors not “getting it”, to people meeting us socially and attacking us for faith itself, to people who have begun the walk of faith drifting away, to people “church hopping” off to greener church pastures. Oh, and some people just don’t like me! But when my children hit the point in their lives when I was not their greatest joy, or when they could only remember my restrictions and not my permissions, it hurt more than any other.
From parents I have talked to, the biggest problem in rejection from their kids seems to be in the surprise and disorientation, yet we all know it’s coming! It would be so cool if it was begun on a certain date, scheduled ahead of time. Maybe this is a serious clue: Our modern romanticized view of life includes the idea that everyone should like us all the time. Jesus promised that wouldn’t be true!!
I summarize my philosophy for parenting my younger kids as giving then an enormous yard for experimentation but with cliffs at the edges. What I mean is I let them grow without much criticism if they stayed within the bounds or appropriate social behavior (some of you would say I define that a bit loosely!). But I was very severe for crossing those lines.
On the other hand, as a youth ages, our control of the consequences goes down … the cliffs can appear as gentle inclines. But life has consequences. So then I become interpreter for life itself when my kids can’t see why they get bit by the snakes in the grass. This is no more fun than being the bringer of the consequences themselves. Sometimes the messenger gets blamed!
The most important thing I know about rejection is that when it is happening for anyone, in any situation, we have to go somewhere healthy to make up for the missing doses of affirmation. The neglected lover doesn’t do well starting an affair, but can do really well joining a group like a Men or Women’s breakfast or a book club. The child needs a club or hobby group or activity where they are not the reject in the group. The parent needs (ideally) to rediscover their partner, but at least the developing of the same networks of love and pleasure that an adult without a child would have. This is maybe a reason we have such great adult attendance in karate class from parents of teens!
And deeper, we must find the voice of God in our souls. From the Bible, from prayer, from the creation,from other spiritual reading and most of all from church, we must hear again the voices of love when others don’t play their part in conveying God’s joy to us.
Take care.”You will be despised and rejected” at times. Gather in the love God sends from other sources. Do not let yourelf remain loveless. Actively seek out where God is intending to send you grace.And give. It is a uniquely spectacular source of affirmation.
If it is your kid rejecting you, don’t blame them for that. They will make enough additional mistakes. (Parents caught in custody blame fights, there are different issues. Talk to me or a counselor on that, will ya?).
Oh, and listen to the truth often: You are loved. Enormously. By a God who sings and dances your name in the heavens.
Do well.
Monday, June 8, 2009
BROKEN HEART
Broken Heart
Consider these headlines: “Church Leaders Rejoice over Gay Marriage Ban,” “Abortion Doctor Shot in Church”, and “Pastor Condemns Obama’s Efforts to Appease Muslims.”
Whatever your opinion on these issues, don’t you think it is a bit odd that most people in America know the church better for the things it condemns rather than for its message of love? Some people call the anti-abortion efforts of some faith communities as the “Talibanization of American Christianity” because so much of the anti-abortion crusade is from some Christians against others they judge as less correct than themselves. I don’t think throwing slurs against either side does us well, but I do lament when a man being as compassionate as he understands his faith to call him to be can be gunned down in his own church.
People, we can only earn the right to criticize honorably when people know we love them and want them healed. Gay people all over the country hear conservative churches not as working to “protect marriage” but as attacking them rather directly. And killing a man serving his God in church in the name of “pro-life” is bizarre.
We have good news. It is that God loves everyone. Immensely. We will have to live that out loud with kindness that sings above the cruelty for any change to be made in this culture’s image of faith and church. Go ahead. Get in a bit of trouble for doing kindness and genuinely accepting others. Surely it would be better to love a little too much than to be known as judging at all.
Do well.
Consider these headlines: “Church Leaders Rejoice over Gay Marriage Ban,” “Abortion Doctor Shot in Church”, and “Pastor Condemns Obama’s Efforts to Appease Muslims.”
Whatever your opinion on these issues, don’t you think it is a bit odd that most people in America know the church better for the things it condemns rather than for its message of love? Some people call the anti-abortion efforts of some faith communities as the “Talibanization of American Christianity” because so much of the anti-abortion crusade is from some Christians against others they judge as less correct than themselves. I don’t think throwing slurs against either side does us well, but I do lament when a man being as compassionate as he understands his faith to call him to be can be gunned down in his own church.
People, we can only earn the right to criticize honorably when people know we love them and want them healed. Gay people all over the country hear conservative churches not as working to “protect marriage” but as attacking them rather directly. And killing a man serving his God in church in the name of “pro-life” is bizarre.
We have good news. It is that God loves everyone. Immensely. We will have to live that out loud with kindness that sings above the cruelty for any change to be made in this culture’s image of faith and church. Go ahead. Get in a bit of trouble for doing kindness and genuinely accepting others. Surely it would be better to love a little too much than to be known as judging at all.
Do well.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
WANTING
Maybe my main job is to nurture passion, or as Jesus called it, “hunger and thirst for goodness”. Passion for God … for life … for healing … for hope … for justice. This is my job.
Now, passion is a dangerous thing if it goes wrong. “Crimes of passion” should include religious wars and judgmental hostilities to those who think different from us. Thus, passion is best when it is pastored, shaped, guided. At my ordination as a pastor I used the image of a controlled burn.
But without the burn, nothing happens. Where there is energy there is heat. When the news of more job layoffs brings you to a painful desiring for those affected to be whole and safe, that is from your deepest passion. Even the anger over the government’s and bankers’ irresponsibility is from that honorable place, though we can take it crazy places.
When you want badly to see a child healed or a war ended, a relationship reconciled or poverty ended, you do that from your passion for God, for life, for healing, for hope and for justice.
When we play the cynic, or pretend that we can prefer detachment or distraction, we lie to our core. We are in love. No amount of work, or television, or computer gaming can really deplete your hunger.
You thirst for the best of reasons. Feel it in your taste buds! Listen to God in your soul. Don’t rush. The hunger doesn’t die. But do stay engaged. This wanting … it’s in your nature!
Now, passion is a dangerous thing if it goes wrong. “Crimes of passion” should include religious wars and judgmental hostilities to those who think different from us. Thus, passion is best when it is pastored, shaped, guided. At my ordination as a pastor I used the image of a controlled burn.
But without the burn, nothing happens. Where there is energy there is heat. When the news of more job layoffs brings you to a painful desiring for those affected to be whole and safe, that is from your deepest passion. Even the anger over the government’s and bankers’ irresponsibility is from that honorable place, though we can take it crazy places.
When you want badly to see a child healed or a war ended, a relationship reconciled or poverty ended, you do that from your passion for God, for life, for healing, for hope and for justice.
When we play the cynic, or pretend that we can prefer detachment or distraction, we lie to our core. We are in love. No amount of work, or television, or computer gaming can really deplete your hunger.
You thirst for the best of reasons. Feel it in your taste buds! Listen to God in your soul. Don’t rush. The hunger doesn’t die. But do stay engaged. This wanting … it’s in your nature!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
HOLY DEFIANCE
We pretend sometimes that we will find a one-to-one ratio to “niceness” and spirituality. Kindness, maybe, but niceness, no. Joy? Oh, yeah. Sweetness? No guarantee. Much of life is lived best because we exercise holy defiance.
Quick example: Someone recently said to someone in front of me in a long line “Life sucks, doesn’t it?” I guessed he meant it to suggest he shared the sense of the long wait. But the person to whom he spoke said back “Well, I love my life, but this moment isn’t so hot!” No, I didn’t hear ‘what do you mean life sucks? It’s great! What’s the matter with you? Don’t you know about life in God … ‘etc. Just a gentle counter. But that is still holy defiance.
Sure, we see holy defiance when spiritual people stand against the powerful for the poor or against a government when it kills or wars or degrades people’s lives. But you will have several opportunities today to be defiant in the best sense, right in your day’s work and in your evening rest.
You will be tempted toward numbness by your television or electronics; you will be invited into negativity by the news manipulators (some of them in your own back yard). You will be lured toward self centered-ness and averted from touching the creation by much that will come your way.
Defy!!! Love! Care! Walk in the wind! Feel deeply, and hope against hopelessness. Pray! Read. Plan your datebook around love, faith, and doing good. God is making you strong. Use your gifts.
Quick example: Someone recently said to someone in front of me in a long line “Life sucks, doesn’t it?” I guessed he meant it to suggest he shared the sense of the long wait. But the person to whom he spoke said back “Well, I love my life, but this moment isn’t so hot!” No, I didn’t hear ‘what do you mean life sucks? It’s great! What’s the matter with you? Don’t you know about life in God … ‘etc. Just a gentle counter. But that is still holy defiance.
Sure, we see holy defiance when spiritual people stand against the powerful for the poor or against a government when it kills or wars or degrades people’s lives. But you will have several opportunities today to be defiant in the best sense, right in your day’s work and in your evening rest.
You will be tempted toward numbness by your television or electronics; you will be invited into negativity by the news manipulators (some of them in your own back yard). You will be lured toward self centered-ness and averted from touching the creation by much that will come your way.
Defy!!! Love! Care! Walk in the wind! Feel deeply, and hope against hopelessness. Pray! Read. Plan your datebook around love, faith, and doing good. God is making you strong. Use your gifts.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
ANGELS MIGHT MATTER
Some of you might know that I occasionally do a bit of interviewing before I write a blog (see previous blogs about pornography and gambling for examples of the results). For this one I spoke to three of my more skeptical friends about angels. These friends, who do a fine faith journey in spite of their difficulties with God, miracles, you name it, have no problem at all believing in angels!
For at least two of them, the reasons are entirely practical and experiential: They think they might have met one, or more.
Ok, in the year before I was willing to consider myself a person of any faith at all, I had three experiences with someone I couldn’t explain … I couldn’t understand why he showed up where he did … in three different situations … all of which were the most upsetting moments of my year… and in each situation he, well, “saved” me.
Jesus speaks of each of us having an angel advocating for us. Oh, and by the way, I know some of you and --you need it!
In some faiths they speak of serendipity, the way some things seem to conspire together to make just the right thing happen at the right time. In most large world faith traditions they speak of supernatural beings or messengers or gods present in our world.
I don’t think you have to believe in angels to be a person of faith. But you might do well to consider the help you get, from finding your keys to not being hit on the road. It seems to me that in light of a wounded world where we all suffer some real pains, that God has, perhaps in our defense, constructed multiple layers of kindness to meet us on our way. And you never know when you will run across a surprise.
For at least two of them, the reasons are entirely practical and experiential: They think they might have met one, or more.
Ok, in the year before I was willing to consider myself a person of any faith at all, I had three experiences with someone I couldn’t explain … I couldn’t understand why he showed up where he did … in three different situations … all of which were the most upsetting moments of my year… and in each situation he, well, “saved” me.
Jesus speaks of each of us having an angel advocating for us. Oh, and by the way, I know some of you and --you need it!
In some faiths they speak of serendipity, the way some things seem to conspire together to make just the right thing happen at the right time. In most large world faith traditions they speak of supernatural beings or messengers or gods present in our world.
I don’t think you have to believe in angels to be a person of faith. But you might do well to consider the help you get, from finding your keys to not being hit on the road. It seems to me that in light of a wounded world where we all suffer some real pains, that God has, perhaps in our defense, constructed multiple layers of kindness to meet us on our way. And you never know when you will run across a surprise.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Talking About Faith
Remember the story of E Stanley Jones, the day after he became a Christian? Someone said “E Stanley, you ain’t no Christian”, to which he responded “The Hell I ain’t”.
This is in response to a recent question of Diane’s “How do we share the invitation to faith in a religiously paranoid age?” (my wording).
I asked some of you what people said to you when you were considering church or before you were. The answers varied. I didn’t ask permission to share names, so you’re safe!
I told Diane I often say to atheists that I am glad we’re at least partly on the same page. They must have rejected much of the religion of judgementalism and closed mindedness that I, too, have had enough of.
One friend told me someone said nothing of their faith other than to listen to her story of wandering, and then said they were really glad she had embarked on a spiritual journey and would love to share it with her if she didn’t yet have a spiritual family.
Another said that someone just conveyed that they genuinely appreciated him. That made him ask questions of their faith and hope.
I guess the joy of it is that we are never in a place where we have to sell anything. We can admit to our friends we are in love, with God and life and all the creation. We can admit easily to those who are deeply pondering that we don’t have all the answers. And we can deeply listen to people’s stories and hopes and tell them our spiritual story as well, in mutual hearing. And it really matters to be able to tell friends that we go to a church where love is all we need to belong, trusting God to figure out the rest in us.
But don’t forget: most all of the people you know are wounded by their histories with bitter, hateful people who claim to represent Christ. My sense is that they are nervous only until we show them that we are ready to hear them and love them as they are. When they see faith as the power behind whatever loving we know, it tells them something more important than words.
I am wondering how [or if] you share your faith with others? If you’d like, find “comments” at the bottom of this page, click it, log in and share your thoughts [if you’re shy, send me an email].
Do well.
This is in response to a recent question of Diane’s “How do we share the invitation to faith in a religiously paranoid age?” (my wording).
I asked some of you what people said to you when you were considering church or before you were. The answers varied. I didn’t ask permission to share names, so you’re safe!
I told Diane I often say to atheists that I am glad we’re at least partly on the same page. They must have rejected much of the religion of judgementalism and closed mindedness that I, too, have had enough of.
One friend told me someone said nothing of their faith other than to listen to her story of wandering, and then said they were really glad she had embarked on a spiritual journey and would love to share it with her if she didn’t yet have a spiritual family.
Another said that someone just conveyed that they genuinely appreciated him. That made him ask questions of their faith and hope.
I guess the joy of it is that we are never in a place where we have to sell anything. We can admit to our friends we are in love, with God and life and all the creation. We can admit easily to those who are deeply pondering that we don’t have all the answers. And we can deeply listen to people’s stories and hopes and tell them our spiritual story as well, in mutual hearing. And it really matters to be able to tell friends that we go to a church where love is all we need to belong, trusting God to figure out the rest in us.
But don’t forget: most all of the people you know are wounded by their histories with bitter, hateful people who claim to represent Christ. My sense is that they are nervous only until we show them that we are ready to hear them and love them as they are. When they see faith as the power behind whatever loving we know, it tells them something more important than words.
I am wondering how [or if] you share your faith with others? If you’d like, find “comments” at the bottom of this page, click it, log in and share your thoughts [if you’re shy, send me an email].
Do well.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
LOSING OUR RELIGION
One academic Christian friend stood in front of a group and said “I stopped believing God exists several times last week. That apparently had little or no impact on God existing”. Have you seen this week’s headlines about the slipping number of people who consider themselves Christian in our country? Bishop Warner Brown mentioned it in his message to the Church of the Joyful Healer last week.
Hmmm … Since church/synagogue/house of worship in the USA hovers at between 25 and 35 percent most of the time, when I hear that those who call themselves Christian has dropped from 86% to 75%, I think we may not be getting clear information from the poll. I suspect rather, the use of the word “Christian” no longer has the same meaning it once had, like in the South, where a “good Christian” used to mean someone who doesn’t cause much trouble. People used to call themselves Christian with little meaning to the word other than perhaps a relative was buried by a pastor or priest. Maybe it is good for the country to support people being more reflective on how they connect themselves.
But specifically, when I was appointed to start a church in northern
I suspect that as churches in the
I don’t expect our more open and positive church family to grow every year in number, but usually it does.
What is more important is that the church is growing in relationships and in usefulness to the communities around it. I just spoke to someone in the tick-borne disease support group that meets in our building on Friday. She loves our church even while being a member of a very different religious group. It is never about numbers! It is about the people we bless and the life we find together in faith.
Do well.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
ABORTION/STEM CELL DEBATES
Here are topics and notes that might help you with people concerned either about the abortion/stem cell debates, or with moms in crisis pregnancies:
We are taught to take artificial positions on abortion, as if pro-choice isn’t pro-life and vice versa. This is an asinine game of hatred-brewing that damages our ability to hear each other and even hear the Spirit speak to us. Fund raisers and lobbyists nourish this dichotomy, and if we were further removed from the debate, we would find them and their extreme positions absurd and hilarious. But now that President Obama has launched the American stem cell sciences again, the issue is more tender for our Christian fundamentalist friends.
What matters in our message? You are my friend, whatever your opinion about this or almost any issue. We are called by Jesus to be one. I offer you my hand.
What You Might Expect Me to Say about Abortion: Everyone wants happy, healthy babies to be born into ready, happy, and healthy families. And you probably already know, I love kids and smile from the inside out when I see healthy families! While we can disagree on particulars, it is artificial and nonsense to believe that people who view the abortion debate differently than us don’t want that just like we do.
But that Isn’t the Whole Story, Is It? Crisis pregnancies happen in virtually every community in the world every day and more so in areas where birth control and abortion are hard to access. And a desperate mom does not need judgment or theoretical debate or pressure. She needs the same access as any other mom could have to quality medical care!
The religious community is divided into two broad camps, led by the mainline Protestant and Jewish communities on one hand, the Catholic and fundamentalist Christian communities on the other: one that focuses on compassion to the expectant mother and the other on compassion to the baby she carries. The United Methodist Social Principles speak of the “tragic conflict of life with life” but still insist the decision on abortion is a private one between a woman and a skilled care provider.
The Jewish point of view on the beginning of fully actual human life is that it begins at birth. “God … breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and he became a living being”. In Exodus 21 a forced loss of pregnancy is worked into a legal discussion about when the community of God in the fragile early years of
Anti-abortion Bible readers don’t focus on these statements of principle, but fear that such a reading will lead us to under value life itself, especially that of the vulnerable. Their Biblical support may be a rigid reading of poetic lines in psalms and prayers, like Psalm 139, “You knew me in my mother’s womb”, but their concern is for the belief in all life as sacred. Not a bad platform now, is it? Also the anti abortion teachings find passion in the Bible’s condemnation of people who “offer their children in the fire” to the god Moloch, a hideous child sacrifice ritual with commonalities in many cultures. But of course, these are born children. In my contacts with the pro-choice community, I have never met a soul who would not risk their lives to save a born child, so the child sacrifice analogy seems to me to be irrelevant to the concerns of either side.
It is sure hard, though, to find common ground when some view the thoughtful choices of others as murder.
Don’t Lie to Yourself. As pro-life as we may view ourselves, unless we believe a mother and a doctor choosing to have or assist an abortion should be tried as murderers, we are functionally on the “pro-choice” side. And you have many friends who have had an abortion. Most of them don’t strike you or me as death row candidates.
Our real tasks are these: First, to work to make birth control options viable for anyone, yes even of young people. Our thoughts about sex among the young should not cloud our commitment to provide them safety and protection. And in many places, this means confronting an anti-condom culture among men in certain “macho” sub-cultures.
Second, we must raise the issues of compassion for the mother as well as the child. A teenager saw anti abortion leaflets showing a sonogram of an embryo six weeks from conception. His response? “Where is the mother?” he asked. He pointed out that the photo gives no sense of the needs or situation of the mother whose body this embryo was in!
Third, we must say an absolute NO to those who would have us hate each other for seeing this issue differently. Most pro-life and pro-choice people have great swaths of their reasoning and purposes in common, and no lobby or demagogue should be allowed to obfuscate that fact. My position is clearly mother-centric, but in our church we have several members who lean on the anti abortion side. We talk. We challenge each other. But we don’t deny each other the right to come to conclusions and work for positions that we each feel compelled to.
And last, and most important, we are called to be agents of healing and grace for those who have tough choices to make. Moms and Dads need a bigger community on their side and laws that support family health. And women in painful conflicts should have as many options as possible available to them so they can choose the best ways to move forward into life making and life building and life sharing. And we need to be there for them and with them.
Stem cells are usually most available through the destruction of embryonic tissue. This means that we need to be clearer about how we see abortion before we can understand and take reasoned positions on research and curative work with stem cells. Balancing our hopes for healing therapies from stem cell research with our concerns about the unborn will help us see what “pro-life” really means.
Do well
Friday, March 6, 2009
RAISING KIDS #1 - Going to Church
A little guy was completely out of control one morning in church. Finally his dad picked him up and walked out in frustration. The little one cried that he didn’t want to leave, but dad kept walking. Finally near the door the little guy called out “Goodbye everybody. Pray for me.”
How to bring our kids to church is an issue at every stage of development.
What you might expect me to say about kids in church: It is one of the greatest gifts you can give them to grow up in a church and faith family.
But that isn’t the whole story is it?
… When they are young they can be distracting when they cry or fuss or spit up or yell or play loudly or grab or … or … And most of that distraction is quadrupled for the parents trying to pray or hear a message.
… As they get older they can act out home frustrations knowing you are vulnerable in a group, or they can have trouble with doing the group activities or even wanting to leave home and get dressed.
… As they get to pre-teen stage, they can think church is awful and come up with vicious interpretations of church and faith, or have issues of “coolness” or independence that can make it almost impossible to get them to come. I have seen kids love me one year, “hate” me the next, use me for a job reference the next, and tell me I have been one of the best influences in their life in the next!
What to do?
Frankly, for younger children, the best thing a family can do is keep the habit. Be there except for sickness and out of town weekends if you can. Even when it is unsatisfying, it is the gift of teaching the ritual to the child. None of us are good at something if we do it seldom enough. Frequency is the way to proficiency in anything. Families with more than one adult can shift management of the details back and forth a bit, but that is a reminder to love on the many single parents among us!
As a child gets into elementary levels, it is a real favor for them to get to know the church family as individuals. If they can remember they are coming to see “Pat, Tim, Judy, Mary, Shante, Juan, Sarah or Mike” rather than just the amalgam of those people in a big blob it can greatly add to their social skill set, since church is one of the rare opportunities for a child to mix with folk of diverse ages. Churched kids are, on average, socially ahead of others in the skill of multigenerational socialization, a vital capacity for grown up life. This makes coffee hour and an occasional special church event like the campout real useful, even vital.
Here’s a note that will save you a lot of grief with some kids: At elementary grade levels, kids need to learn that church behavior isn’t courteous because it’s church. If they think all the social graces they have to learn there are because of church or faith they can resent church or faith for requiring those social graces of them!!! They need to be taught that these graces are human graces, and are required of them any time they are in group settings. Church doesn’t need to be blamed for this. They would have to use the same social skills in a club or a family reunion.
And at elementary grade age, they need to be expected to participate in church attendance just like the easy expectation of eating family meals together and visiting cousins together.
If and when church attendance becomes a struggle, which it often does in the early to mid pre-teens, I recommend a graduated pattern of adjustments. First, remember that the kids most likely to attend church as adults have parents that are faithful to their church whether the child goes or not. In other words, when you go even when your teen is not going, they finally see how much it really matters to you. That rubs off.
If the resistance gets thick I recommend that you first make church rituals more obviously useful to your growing kid. I have seen several families wisely develop a two or three-part ritual on church day, like always doing a family out-to-eat on Sunday after church. If you miss one you miss the other. Other possibilities are starting or ending play time with other kids at church, or always doing a movie out or biking or other hobby right after church. This is just good use of precious family time, but it makes the point that this is a central part of us being family.
Do I encourage parents to debate church beliefs with a hostile teen? Not much, if at all. Church is our extended family. Many adults go without buying all of its beliefs, but we do good for ourselves and for the world as a church, so we are here and committed. The habit teaches more than the cognition, I think.
Did my kids have options not to come to church? Yes, but not often. I let them know I thought the family deserved their participation. And the youth program was a part of that family. And so were all those folk who they have come to know here. We weren’t rigid, yet as awkward as it can be for the “preacher’s kids” to feel free to define themselves, both my kids accepted church as a given for most of their youth. And they are still among you and thriving as a result of that connection.
Did we debate beliefs when they were in “rejectionist” mode? Not much. I never suggested they needed to accept church belief to attend. The same is true for many adults who attend church. They do so out of something bigger than their momentary cognitive assent to certain beliefs.
Don’t lie to yourself: church is best when it is a habit, but something inside us will try to break that. Keeping it for yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself, even if your kids/parents or significant other don’t come along. And they are most likely to “get it” seeing you keep the habit no matter what.
Do well.
How to bring our kids to church is an issue at every stage of development.
What you might expect me to say about kids in church: It is one of the greatest gifts you can give them to grow up in a church and faith family.
But that isn’t the whole story is it?
… When they are young they can be distracting when they cry or fuss or spit up or yell or play loudly or grab or … or … And most of that distraction is quadrupled for the parents trying to pray or hear a message.
… As they get older they can act out home frustrations knowing you are vulnerable in a group, or they can have trouble with doing the group activities or even wanting to leave home and get dressed.
… As they get to pre-teen stage, they can think church is awful and come up with vicious interpretations of church and faith, or have issues of “coolness” or independence that can make it almost impossible to get them to come. I have seen kids love me one year, “hate” me the next, use me for a job reference the next, and tell me I have been one of the best influences in their life in the next!
What to do?
Frankly, for younger children, the best thing a family can do is keep the habit. Be there except for sickness and out of town weekends if you can. Even when it is unsatisfying, it is the gift of teaching the ritual to the child. None of us are good at something if we do it seldom enough. Frequency is the way to proficiency in anything. Families with more than one adult can shift management of the details back and forth a bit, but that is a reminder to love on the many single parents among us!
As a child gets into elementary levels, it is a real favor for them to get to know the church family as individuals. If they can remember they are coming to see “Pat, Tim, Judy, Mary, Shante, Juan, Sarah or Mike” rather than just the amalgam of those people in a big blob it can greatly add to their social skill set, since church is one of the rare opportunities for a child to mix with folk of diverse ages. Churched kids are, on average, socially ahead of others in the skill of multigenerational socialization, a vital capacity for grown up life. This makes coffee hour and an occasional special church event like the campout real useful, even vital.
Here’s a note that will save you a lot of grief with some kids: At elementary grade levels, kids need to learn that church behavior isn’t courteous because it’s church. If they think all the social graces they have to learn there are because of church or faith they can resent church or faith for requiring those social graces of them!!! They need to be taught that these graces are human graces, and are required of them any time they are in group settings. Church doesn’t need to be blamed for this. They would have to use the same social skills in a club or a family reunion.
And at elementary grade age, they need to be expected to participate in church attendance just like the easy expectation of eating family meals together and visiting cousins together.
If and when church attendance becomes a struggle, which it often does in the early to mid pre-teens, I recommend a graduated pattern of adjustments. First, remember that the kids most likely to attend church as adults have parents that are faithful to their church whether the child goes or not. In other words, when you go even when your teen is not going, they finally see how much it really matters to you. That rubs off.
If the resistance gets thick I recommend that you first make church rituals more obviously useful to your growing kid. I have seen several families wisely develop a two or three-part ritual on church day, like always doing a family out-to-eat on Sunday after church. If you miss one you miss the other. Other possibilities are starting or ending play time with other kids at church, or always doing a movie out or biking or other hobby right after church. This is just good use of precious family time, but it makes the point that this is a central part of us being family.
Do I encourage parents to debate church beliefs with a hostile teen? Not much, if at all. Church is our extended family. Many adults go without buying all of its beliefs, but we do good for ourselves and for the world as a church, so we are here and committed. The habit teaches more than the cognition, I think.
Did my kids have options not to come to church? Yes, but not often. I let them know I thought the family deserved their participation. And the youth program was a part of that family. And so were all those folk who they have come to know here. We weren’t rigid, yet as awkward as it can be for the “preacher’s kids” to feel free to define themselves, both my kids accepted church as a given for most of their youth. And they are still among you and thriving as a result of that connection.
Did we debate beliefs when they were in “rejectionist” mode? Not much. I never suggested they needed to accept church belief to attend. The same is true for many adults who attend church. They do so out of something bigger than their momentary cognitive assent to certain beliefs.
Don’t lie to yourself: church is best when it is a habit, but something inside us will try to break that. Keeping it for yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself, even if your kids/parents or significant other don’t come along. And they are most likely to “get it” seeing you keep the habit no matter what.
Do well.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thinking of God
An old teacher was speaking to pastors and said, “When you speak of heaven your eyes should be bright and you should smile and your face should reflect the joy of God. When you speak of other things, well, your normal face will do.”
Thinking of God the Joyful Healer, is a healing habit.
But that’s not the whole story is it? Many people struggle with images of God that are destructive or at least distracting.
In our images of God it is good to check: Is God always male? Is God old, or distant or angry, or irrelevant and passive? Or worse, are we just plain sure we have it figured out and have no mystery in our sense of God?
The truth is that some images of God are far from true to Jewish and Christian historical wisdom. Jesus said “God is spirit”, and this suggests that we are not headed in a constructive direction when we try to limit God to our personal conception. Many scholars believe that the Muslim practice of praying the “99 names of God”, in which the believer reviews many facets of God’s nature, was learned from either Christian or Jewish believers in the Middle East at the time of Muhammad. Well, that is sure not a current practice in some churches where Christian images are limited to “God”, “Father”, “Lord”, and “Jesus”. I find it interesting that in those forms of spirituality, many pray the names of God in almost compulsively repetitious fashion, as in “Father God, Father, Lord Jesus, we ask you, Lord God, to …”, as if the believer is stuck like a CD player.
Jesus is only quoted for a brief bit of his life, and only in a few of his messages in the Bible, yet he exhibits an explosion of freeing images of God. God is male in some and female in others (like the woman sweeping her house). God is anthropomorphic in some and even earthier in others (like the mother hen gathering her chicks). In just one of Jesus’ parables God is pictured as running to meet us, kissing and hugging, and singing and dancing in joy over us!
And Jesus endemically refers to God’s relation to the creation as one of intimacy and tender, thoughtful presence.
Let yourself go! God is not limited to our conceptions or our understanding. Great saints in the early church pointed out that that while God is beyond our thinking; we do well to think of the ways God chooses to come and be exposed to us. God mothers us and fathers us, God is a friend and lover, God wrestles with us and sings in us, God accompanies us and cherishes our every breath. God is wild in the creating business and loves our creativity and honors it.
God loves every moment we move in the ways of healing and justice. The church I pastor is actually called The United Methodist Church of the Joyful Healer!
Don’t Lie to Yourself: Sometimes when people hear you speak of faith or church or God, they filter you through their seriously damaged images of God. Be compassionate enough to understand their reservations and even sometimes their outright hostility. But listen for where the hurt is. It can make you able to communicate at an altogether different level.
And God is right here, right now. Filling the space you live in and your heart as well. Receive your blessing.
Do well.
Thinking of God the Joyful Healer, is a healing habit.
But that’s not the whole story is it? Many people struggle with images of God that are destructive or at least distracting.
In our images of God it is good to check: Is God always male? Is God old, or distant or angry, or irrelevant and passive? Or worse, are we just plain sure we have it figured out and have no mystery in our sense of God?
The truth is that some images of God are far from true to Jewish and Christian historical wisdom. Jesus said “God is spirit”, and this suggests that we are not headed in a constructive direction when we try to limit God to our personal conception. Many scholars believe that the Muslim practice of praying the “99 names of God”, in which the believer reviews many facets of God’s nature, was learned from either Christian or Jewish believers in the Middle East at the time of Muhammad. Well, that is sure not a current practice in some churches where Christian images are limited to “God”, “Father”, “Lord”, and “Jesus”. I find it interesting that in those forms of spirituality, many pray the names of God in almost compulsively repetitious fashion, as in “Father God, Father, Lord Jesus, we ask you, Lord God, to …”, as if the believer is stuck like a CD player.
Jesus is only quoted for a brief bit of his life, and only in a few of his messages in the Bible, yet he exhibits an explosion of freeing images of God. God is male in some and female in others (like the woman sweeping her house). God is anthropomorphic in some and even earthier in others (like the mother hen gathering her chicks). In just one of Jesus’ parables God is pictured as running to meet us, kissing and hugging, and singing and dancing in joy over us!
And Jesus endemically refers to God’s relation to the creation as one of intimacy and tender, thoughtful presence.
Let yourself go! God is not limited to our conceptions or our understanding. Great saints in the early church pointed out that that while God is beyond our thinking; we do well to think of the ways God chooses to come and be exposed to us. God mothers us and fathers us, God is a friend and lover, God wrestles with us and sings in us, God accompanies us and cherishes our every breath. God is wild in the creating business and loves our creativity and honors it.
God loves every moment we move in the ways of healing and justice. The church I pastor is actually called The United Methodist Church of the Joyful Healer!
Don’t Lie to Yourself: Sometimes when people hear you speak of faith or church or God, they filter you through their seriously damaged images of God. Be compassionate enough to understand their reservations and even sometimes their outright hostility. But listen for where the hurt is. It can make you able to communicate at an altogether different level.
And God is right here, right now. Filling the space you live in and your heart as well. Receive your blessing.
Do well.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
THE END OF FRIENDSHIP
Some of you have heard me tell a tidbit: I was in front of a large group of men, and I asked them to make a list of their five best friends, and get in groups of two or three and quickly describe one quality of each of the five. The room lit up with laughter and animation as the men told each other of their best friend’s styles and qualities (and maybe foibles!).
Then I asked the men to write on their list the number of months or years that it had been since they had spent time with that friend. Each group was then to average their number of months or years.
For most in each group they hadn’t spent time with their five best friends since high school. Most didn’t even know where their “best friends” lived, or what they did for work, or if they had kids.
The average age of the group was probably around 40 years old.
A nationally known counselor said that what makes our world different from 50 years ago is that now adult women are losing the skill of making good friends just like men in our culture. What is sad is that if you watch kids, we are made to be social, and most of us had the tools of community in us at one time.
For me what is most peculiar is that most men in that group seemed to not think of themselves as lonely. Now most of us fall into one or two of three common modes: lonely and noticing it; lonely for meaningful friendship but keeping so busy and distracted as to avoid noting it; or living all our friendships out at a very shallow level with workmates or over kid’s play dates until we retire.
Yes, I know, great friendships develop slowly, and are discovered almost like trolling for fish. You drag your line through the water and keep moving slowly until you find something. What is different from the analogy is that we often don’t know we have a good friendship for a long while after we have found it. But trolling is a good analogy in that it suggests on purpose.
I have friends in the church I serve that are so good at making and keeping friends that I have to resist the urge to send all my new acquaintances to them. They are almost full of time slots just enjoying their sacred connections. But most folk I know don’t even know how to begin.
What to do? Well, at least we get started by recognizing what our culture has underequipped us to do … or even underequipped us to even want to do!
And of course, it helps a lot to have a few places on our calendar we show up in regularly where we might possibly make a friend or two … places like church, hobby groups, sports teams, even volunteer task groups and community organizations. Just not bars! I have few issues with drinking in healthy ways [see the archive blog about drinking], but I have seen so many downhill journeys begin with people feeling needy walking into bars.
I also recommend we take our extended families more seriously. Calling or visiting, I mean. Actually hearing voices!! Email is not what we evolved to do, even though it’s nice. Really, when we honor our family commitments well, we grow in ways we can open ourselves to others.
And I recommend we become generous in time and gift giving in our neighborhoods. Few of us will make close friends of neighbors, but again, we are trying to learn the ways of the human family again, and neighbors used to fill a bigger slot by far than they do now.
I am not lonely, so it feels cheap to write too much about it. It solves so slowly in a day in which we move so often, and have so little time uncommitted, as do the others we could know better!
I am embarrassed by how in love I feel, and how much I receive from virtually anyone I meet. I wish I could give this experience to everyone I see. My closer friends leave me so satisfied, too. I have a few real close friends I see casually a lot (common interests), and intentionally as well. I also keep up on several in my family by phone, which is powerful to me.
Don’t lie to yourself: the electronic world has many benefits [you’re reading a blog, for heaven’s sake!], but it is also a terrible drain on our souls. It is a box. We can open our electronics, from radios to televisions to computers to MP3 to … you get the idea … and never turn away from them again. They will suck us up and leave us numb and tired and keep us from walking outside and speaking to a neighbor or calling a friend or from watching a child play. I have an acquaintance that complains of having no friends, who spends three to five hours a night watching TV. If this is you, you’re in a different fix than other lonely people. You need to turn it off. Go call your mom/uncle/aunt/first grade teacher … SOMEbody! For the rest of you, take care of your soul. Do what you can. Keep trolling. Keep open to the loves of God. More and more you will find people to whom God will pass along that loving through you.
And maybe add the rituals of talking about all the good moments you do have with people, and remembering those moments on purpose. Cherishing time with others is a two step process: first, enjoying them when they are there; second, enjoying them after you leave them. Add more of the second. Great relationships leave a great taste in your soul. Don’t be too quick to let go of that flavor.
Do well.
Then I asked the men to write on their list the number of months or years that it had been since they had spent time with that friend. Each group was then to average their number of months or years.
For most in each group they hadn’t spent time with their five best friends since high school. Most didn’t even know where their “best friends” lived, or what they did for work, or if they had kids.
The average age of the group was probably around 40 years old.
A nationally known counselor said that what makes our world different from 50 years ago is that now adult women are losing the skill of making good friends just like men in our culture. What is sad is that if you watch kids, we are made to be social, and most of us had the tools of community in us at one time.
For me what is most peculiar is that most men in that group seemed to not think of themselves as lonely. Now most of us fall into one or two of three common modes: lonely and noticing it; lonely for meaningful friendship but keeping so busy and distracted as to avoid noting it; or living all our friendships out at a very shallow level with workmates or over kid’s play dates until we retire.
Yes, I know, great friendships develop slowly, and are discovered almost like trolling for fish. You drag your line through the water and keep moving slowly until you find something. What is different from the analogy is that we often don’t know we have a good friendship for a long while after we have found it. But trolling is a good analogy in that it suggests on purpose.
I have friends in the church I serve that are so good at making and keeping friends that I have to resist the urge to send all my new acquaintances to them. They are almost full of time slots just enjoying their sacred connections. But most folk I know don’t even know how to begin.
What to do? Well, at least we get started by recognizing what our culture has underequipped us to do … or even underequipped us to even want to do!
And of course, it helps a lot to have a few places on our calendar we show up in regularly where we might possibly make a friend or two … places like church, hobby groups, sports teams, even volunteer task groups and community organizations. Just not bars! I have few issues with drinking in healthy ways [see the archive blog about drinking], but I have seen so many downhill journeys begin with people feeling needy walking into bars.
I also recommend we take our extended families more seriously. Calling or visiting, I mean. Actually hearing voices!! Email is not what we evolved to do, even though it’s nice. Really, when we honor our family commitments well, we grow in ways we can open ourselves to others.
And I recommend we become generous in time and gift giving in our neighborhoods. Few of us will make close friends of neighbors, but again, we are trying to learn the ways of the human family again, and neighbors used to fill a bigger slot by far than they do now.
I am not lonely, so it feels cheap to write too much about it. It solves so slowly in a day in which we move so often, and have so little time uncommitted, as do the others we could know better!
I am embarrassed by how in love I feel, and how much I receive from virtually anyone I meet. I wish I could give this experience to everyone I see. My closer friends leave me so satisfied, too. I have a few real close friends I see casually a lot (common interests), and intentionally as well. I also keep up on several in my family by phone, which is powerful to me.
Don’t lie to yourself: the electronic world has many benefits [you’re reading a blog, for heaven’s sake!], but it is also a terrible drain on our souls. It is a box. We can open our electronics, from radios to televisions to computers to MP3 to … you get the idea … and never turn away from them again. They will suck us up and leave us numb and tired and keep us from walking outside and speaking to a neighbor or calling a friend or from watching a child play. I have an acquaintance that complains of having no friends, who spends three to five hours a night watching TV. If this is you, you’re in a different fix than other lonely people. You need to turn it off. Go call your mom/uncle/aunt/first grade teacher … SOMEbody! For the rest of you, take care of your soul. Do what you can. Keep trolling. Keep open to the loves of God. More and more you will find people to whom God will pass along that loving through you.
And maybe add the rituals of talking about all the good moments you do have with people, and remembering those moments on purpose. Cherishing time with others is a two step process: first, enjoying them when they are there; second, enjoying them after you leave them. Add more of the second. Great relationships leave a great taste in your soul. Don’t be too quick to let go of that flavor.
Do well.
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