Suicide

There is no laughter here.

What You Might Expect Me to Say about Suicide: If you come from certain religious traditions you might think I would condemn those who commit suicide, or assume they have committed an unforgivable sin and will be judged by God as having done so. Please know that is not the position of most Christians. The United Methodist Social Principles state that “nothing, including suicide, separates us from the love of God”.
But that’s Not the Whole Story, Is It? Almost all the time, suicide is more like leaving a bomb inside the lives of surviving family and friends. Leaving the pain behind in suicide leaves a hundred times the pain in the survivors. I am a survivor. I have had close friends commit suicide. Most days I cannot even approach my own pain over the loss. And I’m a pretty healthy guy emotionally. And those who commit suicide leave their survivors at much greater risk of suicide themselves.

I tell people at church that I thought about it. On a particularly bad day in college, I got as close as I have ever gotten to it. But for me, that was only once. Almost everyone has an id moment at some point, and some people hardly ever have the thought far from their minds. They are choosing to live every day despite that possibility gnawing at them as a pathetic temptation.

Here’s Where I Get In Trouble: The states that have allowed assisted suicide actually become a strong argument for something else. Very few people use that option. Why? Because to do so in those states requires people work through counseling for their depression and anger, and get access to appropriate pain and mood management medication and that they wait through a period that lasts longer than most people’s rage.
Suicide is most often a function of depression (see my blog on depression in the archives) or pain or mood disorders or rage. The few using assisted suicide are the exceptions to much of that, and therefore their situation isn’t much of a useful comparison to the vast number of suicides and the times when you or your friends and family have considered it. It is a solution of impatience. Considering suicide is a cheap, fast food kind of way of avoiding dealing with those other issues. But when you hurt, you are sometimes not sensible.

On the other hand, who among us has never opted for fast food?

Don’t Lie to Yourself: Life has many ups and downs. We all will grieve, and lose, and hurt, and be in funks that defy logic. And we will all have depressions and angers that brew in deep places.

And someone near you will do it. We all suffer when one person commits suicide.

Love your life. And get help when you are struggling. At least have one confidant you would tell if you are not safe with yourself.

And look out for each other. Love their lives enough to ask and care about their answer as to how they are doing in times of stress.

Do well.